While cleaning up some old boxes, I came across a CD that I had been trying to locate for a few months. One of the documents listed a tabular comparison of debate and dialogue. I can’t remember where I sourced this from or whether I made it up myself. So apologies if I have breached copyright. It’s from a couple of years ago and my normal approach would be to do a few searches on the Internet and read some books and come up with such a table – so I might have done that – or just copied it from somewhere. But I reckon it looks like a pretty good comparison; and I know a few people who are better debaters than conversationalists!
Debate (in normal text) versus Dialogue (in italics)
Assuming that there is a right answer
Assuming that others have pieces of the answer
(and that you have it)
and that together you can craft a solution
Combative: Collaborative:
attempting to prove the other side wrong
attempting to find common understanding
About winning
About exploring common ground
Listening to find flaws and make counter-arguments
Listening to understand and find a basis for agreement
Defending assumptions as valid
Presenting assumptions for re-evaluation
Critiquing the other side’s position
Re-examining all positions
Defending one’s own views against those of others
Admitting that other’s thinking can improve one’s own
Searching for weaknesses and flaws in the other position
Searching for strengths and value in the other position
Seeking a conclusion or vote that ratifies your position
Discovering new options, not seeking closure